Anxiety

What does anxiety feel like? It feels like your mind is going rogue on you, overriding your body and making you react in ways that you can't control. Your heart speeds up, and your brain conjures up these wild thoughts that evoke all sorts of crazy emotions, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's a lonely, helpless feeling that quickly turns into guilt and shame. You begin to beat yourself up over the absurdity of your thoughts, over your ridiculous reactions that are way over the top and don't make any sense at all. You feel like you're insane, like you've gone mad, like you're a completely broken human being. And worst of all, the last thing you want to do is compound that guilt by reaching out to someone and putting your problems on them, because that isn't fair to anyone, to burden them with your stupid, crazy, nonsensical thoughts and feelings that you have no explanation for whatsoever. So you keep it to yourself and try to deal with it on your own, but you're stuck in a vicious cycle of guilt and shame, because there's simply no reason why you feel the way you feel. It's purely irrational. And for those who haven't experienced that sort of anxiety, it seems totally preposterous... and it is. But knowing that and being aware of it doesn't make the feelings go away; it doesn't stop the racing heart, the panic, the loss of control as you're unable to concentrate on anything or form any sort of coherent thought. It often comes out of nowhere, and it sucks. Anxiety sucks. And while you may never be able to understand what it's like, I hope that you can at least accept it.